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Monday, July 31, 2006

change.


i have never done well with it. ever.

karl moved in on may 1. he moved out tonight, after three months.

so much good happened while he was here...getting rid of toxic people in his life, drinking less, living life more, repairing damaged relationships and beginning to find his way again.

it's tough, because i wasn't expecting him to move out yet.

at the end of each month, we sat down and outlined the expectations (he called them 'the rules') for the upcoming month. we both signed off on them. we went over what went well and what sucked in the previous month, and moved forward. the consequence of not meeting the expectations was to move out.

but this month, heading into august, he didn't meet the july expectations we agreed on. and it broke my heart. this 'tough love' thing is lame. worthwhile and necessary, but incredibly lame in the process. and in the midst of frustration and disappointment and fear, he packed up and began moving. after we had it out a bit, we ended up having a great heart-to-heart. we both cried and i realized just how much i want him to succeed in life - because he deserves it. he wants to succeed as well, but he just needs to choose it for himself.

kris and i laugh about how much easier the world would be if everyone would just do things the way we like them. :) but we can't control anything but ourselves.

i know that the last three months were good for him. they were good for me. he learned to use windex. i learned to not stress over muddy footprints from the backdoor to the bathroom to the computer to the front door and to his room.

wanting to find good closure for this, i finished a few more pages for his book, and hope to give that to him in a few weeks after the wedding and when the dust settles.

please pray for him...for enough grace in his upcoming days to remind him that he is a child of god, who is loved infinitely. and completely. just because he is who he is.

photos...left to right
2002 - after staying up all night in the convent with the kids after accy convention...i had what you would call a "bad hair day" caused by 24 wild high school students fueled by endless mountain dew and midnight pizza.
2004 - his eagle scout award...on my 27th birthday
2006 - relay for life of tacoma...he mc'ed on saturday in memory of his brother jeremy

2 comments:

Kate said...

Shelley, you never cease to amaze me. I have watched you grow from a loud, funny little girl into a loud, funny, faith-filled young woman. I feel, as I scroll through your Website/blog, such a kinship with you -- in your faith, in your compassion, in the things that move and inspire you, in your zest for life. I am praying for Karl. He needs our prayers and support. You have done amazing things for him, and he is blessed to have had your power in his life. God bless you, Shell.

Helen Bobbitt said...

Shelley,

Since I have had the blessing to know you - you have become such a beacon for me. I look forward to your blog and love the way you depict your life through word, picture and prayer.

I feel for you and Karl - time will heal and change is not fun at the best of times - but as with all things - change is also a great opportunity for new perspectives and chances. That is what I will pray for with Karl. He will never forget what you have done for him - and I think that is what hurts most. Please tell Karl how much his Canadians fans love him - and how much we are praying for him. Karl, be true to yourself and life will be true to you.

Love Helen

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